Ready to Love Your Body?
As a therapist, I have worked with women for more than 30 years, and I have never met a woman who truly loves her body. Even women who would be considered culturally beautiful often do not love their bodies. Instead, body hatred is the norm.
As women, we do not treat our bodies well—we starve them, push them beyond endurance, and expect them to function perfectly even under those conditions. When something goes wrong, the self-criticism intensifies. We become angry and feel betrayed by our own bodies.
As a child, I watched my mom yo-yo diet. If she was losing weight, she felt great. When she was gaining, she was awash in shame and self-loathing. She was always on a diet, off a diet, or about to start one again. And what did I do in my teenage and young adult life? Diet. I have gained and lost the same twenty-five pounds countless times.
Now that I am post-menopausal, I have finally stopped dieting. I eat a healthy mix of protein and carbohydrates, but I do not restrict my calories. I try to eat more mindfully— eating when I am hungry and stopping when I am full. I am also working to change the way I speak to my body and think about it.
In a world that promotes body hatred, this is an act of rebellion. The exercise and cosmetic industries are worth billions of dollars, and they depend on women believing that one more product, program, or diet will finally be “the one.”
Are you tired of hating your body? Of never feeling good enough, no matter your weight? No matter your age, are you ready to stop the insanity?
If so, it is time to speak to your body differently—with a much more loving and compassionate voice.
Getting Started
- Write a letter to your body. Then imagine the letter your body might write back to you.
- Appreciate your body for the hard work it does each day. Imagine telling your body how grateful you are for all it carries you through.
- Practice loving-kindness meditation with your body. Imagine sending love and compassion to each body part and picture your body receiving that kindness.
- Watch your words. Notice when you criticize your body and gently choose a kinder response.
- Listen to voices that promote body acceptance. Emma Thompson, Valerie Bertinelli, and Kate Winslet have all spoken publicly about the impact of body hatred.
- Ask yourself whether it is time to focus on health and let go of the number on the scale.
Need some help to break free? Take a Leap of Faith.
Note: I know that men also struggle with body positivity. In this article, I have chosen to focus on women. I do not minimize the struggle men face. I think the cultural norm is different for men. It is looking muscular and strong. Men who do not fit this, may also struggle with shame and self-loathing.
